Adolescence
Some kids are messed up. Some aren't. They may even be from the same family. Who can explain this? It would appear to me (having never been a parent), that it's all a big crapshot. I mean clearly we know there are certain things at the extreme edges that you shouldn't do to kids. You shouldn't let your kids induldge their every desire, and you shouldn't deny them every opportunity to make their own decisions. But beyond the boundaries, we know precious little about parenting. This suprises me as a social researcher. Parents have had kids for quite a while now (3 million years for most of us, about 2500 according the people here in TN). Regardless of the time span, one would really think that we would have been able to find some way of stopping our youth from engagin in self-destructive activities like drugs. But we haven't, and so we lose kids every year.
4 Comments:
For some reason, dealing with adolescents is a passion of mine. I think I feel the need to be an advocate for them--and I was one of those kids who wasn't "messed up."
Sometimes I feel I have so much to offer parents, other times I'm in awe of what they do.
There is so much I see junior high-aged students do and I wish I could shake them and ask, "what the hell is wrong with you?!" I wish they would get *now* what and how their behaviors will affect them in the future.
I don't know how to make them see it and *truly* beleive it.
there's actually a good bit of sociological literature examining the effects of parental styles on children's behavior. Go to scholar.google.com and type in parenting and you'll see quite a bit of research. Actually check out Leslie Gordon's dissertation (Linking gender differences in parenting to a typology of family parenting styles and adolescent developmental outcomes, Iowa State 1999) for a reference list. btw, scholar.google.com is my new favorite toy.
and i don't know if it's a crapshot. research shows that family resources is profoundly important in predicting life outcomes (e.g. whether you become a drug hawking pimp or a CEO). obviously family resources mean a lot of things (e.g. affording to send your kids to private school, endowing them with cultural capital, etc.) but presuming you have them, there's a good chance that your kid won't turn out to be f*ck up.
I understand that the information exists, and perhaps I wasn't being clear enough in the post, but "we" as a society still don't know much. Researchers might know, but if a tree falls...This information just hasn't really permeated our collective consciousness.
Hi Josh Packard,
I’ve been surfing on the net for some ideas about parenting advice . I did find some interesting articles about parenting advice . Then I ran across your post on Adolescence. Interesting blog. I am always looking for new ideas about parenting, and enjoy reading about other peoples thoughts and experiences, so thanks for posting. I have a child with special needs so parenting is always a challenge - any and all ideas and tips help! So keep it up and I will be back again in the future.
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